Do you want to know if he likes you or if he’s just not that into you?
What do you do when his actions don’t match the words he tells you?
How can you tell whether or not he’s just stringing you along?

One of my clients was asking herself these exact questions this morning. The guy she’s seeing says all the right things but his actions leave her desiring more, wondering where she stands, and creating excuses for his behavior. She wants to be with him but doesn’t want to waste time on someone who isn’t reciprocating how she feels. He has told her he’s into her but doesn’t follow thru on calling when he says he will or making the time to see her (long distance relationship). How can she know for sure?

There is no way she can know for sure. You can drive yourself crazy analyzing the actions of the other person over and over again – if he really liked me he’d ____________, if he was serious he’d ____________, my friends say/think ___________. At some point you have to take what he says as the truth. If he says he’s into you, accept it as the truth.

From that point on, his actions or lack of actions are simply how he treats someone he cares about. You get to determine if those are the qualities and characteristics you desire in a relationship. Is that how you want to be treated?

If he hasn’t expressed how he feels, assume he likes you. It doesn’t matter if he’s expressed in words how he feels, his actions are the only thing to pay attention to. Don’t over analyze them trying to figure out if he likes you. Assume he does and ask yourself if those are the qualities and characteristics you desire in a relationship.

Bottom Line: “If he likes you?” isn’t as important of a question as “Do you like how you’re being treated?”

Are you in a similar relationship? Do you have any advice to share? We’d love to hear from you.

Erin Murphy
© New Realms of Possibility LLC